just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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