ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
