It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize