The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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