I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
