I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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