Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
