would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize