I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
