hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
