I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
