Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize