Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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