I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
