I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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