You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize