If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
