Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
