hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
