She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
