I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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