ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
