I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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