Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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