You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
