don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
