Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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