True but thats because hes a fetus.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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