Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize