You work out of a Hotel?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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