I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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