It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
