i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
