and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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