I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
