Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize