It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
