Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
