Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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