So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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