they need to just BURY HIM!
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
