yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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