i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
