What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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