There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
