its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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