well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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