Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
