I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
