For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
its liver damage thursday
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
