Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
