Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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