Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
