shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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