Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
