I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
