I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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