I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
