I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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