If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
