When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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